March 2011
11 posts
When I was younger, I never thought I’d work in a cheese shop. I was very perceptive, I still haven’t.
Got a feeling this day will go similarly to the day I got thrown out of Toys R Us for doing poppers in the wendy house.
Your mouth is amazing.
That’s right, I’m going to study ‘John Tucker Must Die’, ironically of course, and with chips.
Twitter is like a good wine. You have to wait for it. And dodge whales.
My flatmate is pretending to be a bird it seems.
Dreamt I set up ‘compare the t-shirt.com’ with @sebastianbach, we archived thousands of t-shirt printing shops for YOU. Thanks, dream me.
RT @StrangeJuggalo: Is there some kind of unwritten Spanish grammatical rule that says you have to talk loud as fuck so I can’t hear the TV?
Abusing my flatmates Twitter has been the highlight of my day.Follow @stumpyburrows, I’ll donate 2p to downsyndromes charities on her behalf
‘You post on Twitter about me a surprising amount, I’m wondering how many stupid things I say’. Err, a lot.
My flatmate cried when her M people cd got stolen. And you think you had a tough upbringing in the ghettto.
February 2011
17 posts
Anyone who makes their pet a facebook, is a wanker. Yes, I’m aiming this at you, person who scorns this notion but I know you own TWO.
Is Helena Bonham Carter on commission? Presumably that’s why she overacts in EVERYTHING. Dick.
Stupid question of the day; ‘do you like forrest gump’. WHO DOESN’T?
Err, no Twitter, why the fuck would I want to follow Internet Explorer? I’m sure it’s almost as interesting as @sarahmillican75.
Next time you’re at the checkout, and you hear the familiar beep..don’t worry, you’re too ugly to be filmed. Fuck off.
Watched 10oclock live for the first time. Its shit. Brooker, you’re paid to have an opinion, so fucking have one.
Dear TV: I know I’ve slagged you off in the past, but showing something that isn’t utter drivel would make me stop calling you rude words.
RT @TheRealAzLives: @JKCorden James Corden: Proving once and for all that if it has tits, it can’t do comedy………………………. …
Informing me you’ve masturbated profusely before going out for drinks. #verysexy
Yes, IN ONE ARM.
RT @ideeli: Lenny Kravitz could wear a sandwich board and he’d look beautiful. In fact, Lenny in a sandwich board isn’t a bad image. #gr …
Wow. That film, Mr Nice, is a fucking pile of crap. Rhys Ifans was completely wasted, ho ho.
Can’t sleep so off to experiment with frozen mashed potato, and a knee high sock.
Would you wear a sign on your head advertising that you’ve got no personality? Shush up about Shaun of the Dead then.
If you complain about the lack of quality TV programming inside your local pub, kindly vacate your table for those of us that have friends.
Venturing further into the unemployed zone with ‘Snog, Marry, Avoid’. Which, should be renamed ‘Maim, kill and explode’.
December 2010
2 posts
WWF file format. Aka, a waste of fucking time. →
October 2010
1 post
June 2010
1 post
“Well there is a reward, to live and die by the sword.”
– Slash-By The Sword